Why Is Everyone Screwing All The Time!?

This post will deviate from my usual recovery update.  I will probably post one of those tomorrow.  A point was brought to my attention as I was loafing on the couch watching tv for 2 weeks.  Sex is literally everywhere.  Now don’t get me wrong, i’m a hip youth who knows what’s up, and obviously i’ve been immersed in our hyper sexualized media for most of my life.  However, at this particular moment of my life, I see it a bit differently.

Aside from just the media, all anyone talks about is who they are screwing, where they are screwing, how often they are screwing.  Do you have no other life!?  Why don’t you tell me about school, or your family, or your dog, or your career goals!?  Ok now saying that on paper I realize why sex is the obvious conversational topic… 

Disclaimer: I’m about to make some generalizations so get ready!  

For “normal people” (people without sexual pain disorders), this hypersexualization of culture is not something to complain about.  Either you are 1. a part of it, having fun, going out, trying to do everyone. 2. In a relationship where you can screw the same person all the time (snooze), or 3. You have chosen by your own free will not to engage in this extracurricular activity.  These people have every reason to embrace, or at least tolerate the culture.  #3 is a little iffy, but just because you choose one way doesn’t mean you get to protest what is broadcasted to everyone else.

For people with pain disorders it’s obviously different.  Sex is dangled over our heads on every channel you turn to (except nickelodeon, even though I always suspected that something was going on with spongebob and sandy). It’s also dangled in front of us by our friends, family, coworkers, you name it they are probably screwing someone and probably telling you about it.  It would be bad enough to struggle silently with our painful sex lives, and keep our issues confined to the bedroom.  Instead, our issues stem over to the tv, the lunchroom, the club, the freshman dorms, and I could go on.  Basically everywhere we go, there will inevitably be some mention of sex, and some reminder that we are broken.

 I believe that this is one of the reasons that sexual pain disorders take such a huge toll on people’s lives.  As if the strained relationships, feelings of inadequacy, and actual pain weren’t enough, we also have to endure being constantly reminded of how we are missing out and failing at one of the seemingly most important parts of life.  

I’ve met people who judge me for going through with an extreme procedure just so I can have sex.  There are people who think I need to get my priorities straight, there are people who think it’s not worth it, there are even people who think it makes me a one track minded slut.  They can think what they want.  Only those who have suffered understand the true urgency to heal. Only they can understand how truly difficult it is to live in a culture dominated by something that causes them so much pain.